Familiars

Happy Halloween from Bigfoot, his favorite witch, and Hangtree, TX!

Sweater Girl

"It makes me look fat!" That's what Canasta said when she modeled the sweater I made her out of scrap yarn for practice before cracking out the Good Stuff (Rowan Country #650 Birch). "Bouclé? Garter stitch? Come on! This is not flattering! I'd rather be cold!" I think we may just skip doggie sweaters altogether. She hates to wear clothes. Notice her ears? They're in the down = discomfort position. As soon as I took off the ewe costume, her ears perked right up. So I've decide to save the rest of the 650 for a more appreciative audience, i.e., me. The poncho I made with it was met with oohs and aahs and rave reviews. I could make ponchos all day, and have before, too! They are easy, fast, comfortable, and no pattern is necessary. Charming!

Junk Tableau

One of the most fun aspects of having a bunch of junk is the way it seems to arrange itself into artistic statements, without any help from the collector!

Chop Suey

Here's some wallpaper suitable for gazing at as you chew your Sunday evening Chinese take-out.

Bug Dog Poncho

It's been suggested by more than one person that I knit Canasta a wrap, in tones worthy of her Sacred Blue coat. But early in our relationship, Canasta told me that her absolute favorite color in the whole world is pink — a color which is not necessarily good for her complexion. (Hence the pink Liberace cape.) So I've been searching all over for a suitable yarn. Yesterday I found it at Myers House: Rowan Country in "Birch." This yarn is a variegation of soft Chihuahua blue-grey mixed with greens, yellows, mauves, and yes, pink! (I might as well just sign away my life savings to Rowan right now, because I really love their $$$ yarns!) I got enough of this and some marled Big Wool in grey and natural to make ice skating ponchos for both Canasta and me. And I had to start on it right away because we're expecting our First Frost on Monday!

Living Dolls

Does anyone remember the Smiling Faces way back in Lucky Find Gazette #5? Well, the other day up in the Jerseyville Salvation Army thrift store, I found this booklet from 1972 which is entirely devoted to the embodiment of these happy plastic visages! Your choice of body includes: Mrs. Clown, Mrs. Farmer, Mrs. Santa, Mrs. Pilgrim, School Girl, and of course our cover model, DIxie Belle (though her hairdo looks more Marie Antoinette-ish than ante-bellum to me.) These darlings would go great with your collection of crochet poodle TP cozies!

Bug Dog II

Aww, look at the cute little snuggle bug! Canasta still hasn't completely forgiven me for stuffing her into this costume.

Indian Summer Wrap

For the past two days I've had the flu, confined to the sofa with nothing to do but watch BBC's Pride and Prejudice, sip broth, and knit. This wrap is the end result. I designed it all by myself using gauge and math! I opened the Stash Tub even though I had vowed not to before my other projects were done, but I blame this weakness of character on my illness. And who could resist the siren song of this Rowan yarn? It's gorgeous. Expensive yarn is really fun to work with! The blue-green part is 3 skeins 50g Rowan Country #659 in "Reed," the brownish part is 1.5 skeins 100g aran weight Harris Tweed #018 in "Camel," which I mixed with brown $4.50 Wal-Mart Lion Wool, and a skein of pumpkin mohair I bought on sale last year. The three together bring the strand up to the weight of the chunkier other yarn. The mohair adds a subtle glow and counteracts the tweed's slight scratch factor. All worked from the top down on 9mm circulars. The color square motif is a simple slip stitch pattern which is about 13 million times easier to do than either intarsia or Fair Isle. Best of all: this looks really great on! As per The Skull Bonnet, most stuff I design looks quite retarded in the end. But the fever gave me the courage to try again, and I'm glad. The colors are way prettier than my camera shows; the neckline and asymmetrical increases are flattering. I added old bone buttons to the front edges so the back can be fastened to form "armholes." Good job, me!

Bug Dog

Canasta really hated this Liberace cape. But I've heard Chihuahuas get cold quickly, so I bought this for her to protect her from the elements. It has little pink leatherette booties to match. (About which the cashier said, "Do you really think your dog is going to agree to wear these?" No.) She looks like a little pink bug in this outfit, but thank goodness for the immortalizing effect of cameras, because she has point-blank refused to ever wear it again.

One Down, Two To Go

The Sweetart Scarf is officially finished. I added some chocolate to the edges, because you can never have too much candy! Now I need to move on to The Mushroom Sweater, already. I only have two more bouts of work on it, but I'm scared of the neck and underarm shaping, having never done such before. But the increases, decreases, and bind-offs on the sleeves were easy, as long as I used a row counter and kept track of where I was with a handy piece of pencil and paper. Here's hoping it won't turn into something only Quasimodo could wear.

Sunday Is Wallpaper Day

Here, have some wallpaper. No really, it's on me.

Thrift Store Score Galore!

Oh, yes! Please refer to yesterday's post. The Sack of Jerseyville is complete. I came away with three bags full, to say the least. One item is so mind-bogglingly cool, it will have a page devoted to it in Lucky Find Gazette #13. Hush-hush! Plus: 39 old patterns, from the golden age of 1966-1974! Old patterns are something I used to take for granted. 10¢ apiece = armloads of mindlessly smiling girls in silly minis cavorting across covers: they were plentiful in every thrift store. But then, as recently as four years ago, the demographics began to shift. The golden age patterns were gone, except for a pitiful smattering of kid's clothes! No more psychedelic fabrics and fabulous Sharon Tate hairdos. They'd all been replaced by grim pastel 80s images of frizzy headed women in shoulder pads and "skorts." So even though the patterns I found cost 70¢ instead of 10¢, I bought every last one of them. There are even a few outfits I'm planning to actually make: the Capes, maybe a leisure suit or two. (But not The Peasant Looks above — which on first glance I thought were for Barbie clothes.) Sewing is my first love, it reminds me of making doofy clothes like the 1969 ones above in my grandma's basement. Knitting has sidetracked me away from any sewing projects lately, but the patterns have reignited the old fire! There just isn't enough time in the day to work, create, and blog. And forget about cleaning the house.

Optimism

Yesterday I cashed a check I got for writing. It felt good! Since I made the money off of wordage about junk, I've decided to plow my capital back into the company, so to speak, and head up to Jerseyville, Ills. for a thorough sacking of the Salvation Army thrift store there. This is the store that smells like BO and worse, due to a crock pot full of frank and beans on constant burble in the break room/donation area. Yes, hotdogs simmered slowly unleash all the aromas of the by-products they are composed of. By-products is a nice word for a lot of parts you'd rather not see in print, eyeballs being as far as I'll go. But it's worth braving this miasma for the potential treasure. In the past I've found Genuine Antiques there, as well as enormous amounts of Ugly 70s Delights. Will let you know the results of my troll tomorrow.

Tale Of A Hideously Ugly "Bonnet"

Or, You've Wrought What??? One of the deals about being incapable of following directions is that I always want to do it my way. Even if My Way is completely inadvisable. This latest monstrosity, of which I'm so embarrassed that I had to cover my face, is a case in point. I checked Knit 2 Together, by Tracey Ullman and Mel Clark, out of the library and noted a cute bonnet/scarf that I thought might work for The Sweetart Scarf. Then I was practicing a lace pattern in Fisherman's Wool when it came to me: this is about the right size for the gusset of that bonnet in the book. I added a Brioche Stitch brim in Noro Kureyon #134 (a mercifully discontinued colorway). Here it is world: front, side and back. I hear a lot of "ughs" out there, and I agree — it's ugly! If I added it to the scarf, it would wreck the scarf. My husband Buster says that the back looks like an exposed skull. I'm just going to wear it around the house to keep my head warm and torture he who makes cutting, if true, comments about my creations.

PIle O' Knitting

Since the knit bloggers were gracious enough to include me in their ring, I've decided it's about time to share an update on my exciting (if unfinished) knitting projects with the www. And even though my cat Bigfoot is sprawling across the lot, trying to take credit where it isn't due, I'm the one who's done the actual knitting — though he has given me a (very) few suggestions. In order of appearance the projects are: The Hot Pink Peacock Feather Shawl, The Sweetart Scarf (5' and still growing strong, sometimes I just can't stop already with the scarves), and, of course, The Mushroom Sweater. Although I have a Rubbermaid tub full of gorgeous yarn singing a siren song in the far corner of the basement, I have vowed not to open its lid till all three of the projects shown are finished down to the last blessed weave in. Amen. For a newly confident knitter, my biggest challenge is not going berserk with new ideas I want to manifest now, which would take me and all the fingers in China approximately 10 years to complete. But here's what's coming next: The Owl Cape, The Midnight Shawl, The Rustic Vest, The Fingerless Mohair Opera Gloves and Capelet Set, and The Brioche Bedjacket.

Acorns

After blogging about her picky eating habits, I caught Canasta munching on an acorn yesterday. Uh-oh! The tannins in these nuts can cause a host of problems in a little canine. Not instant death, but bad stuff like gastritis, possibly kidney damage. I wonder why pigs and deer can eat them with no ill effect, but not horses or dogs? We've got chinkapin, shingle, white, and pin oaks in our yard: plenty of sources for the bad snacks. I'll have to go get more Pup-O-Ronis (which smell and look exactly like Slim-Jims) pronto!

Picky Eaters

Canasta, our Sacred Blue Chihuahua, has turned into a terribly picky eater. When she first strayed into the Junkyard, she was so hungry she ate cat food. Then she graduated to various Better Brand dog foods. When she suddenly refused to eat one more morsel of that, we tempted her with canned salmon (rinsed of salt). But now she'll only eat steak and rotisserie chicken. I try to add grain in the form of damp shredded wheat, but she somehow manages to eat around those shreds! Chihuahuas are known for their finicky eating habits. I don't want her to starve, but I don't want her to turn into a little butterball either. The vet just says, "Feed her ScienceDiet." Oh, you mean the same brand that substituted melamine for wheat gluten? She'd rather eat cat food! Further research and experimentation is obviously required. Fortunately, our cats will eat anything, even bugs. Especially bugs! Rather vile to watch, but full of protein.

Gobs

A gob, as per the Doofy Pinback button above, is a term for an American sailor. It can also mean low-coal-content mining waste, lots of, or snot. Another fun word from the English language!

Magda In Flames

This is how I feel when I wake up on Saturday after a Friday fish dinner and one glass too many of dry vermouth on the rocks with a twist. Damaged and full of hair flame. Lately, including last night, I've been dreaming of nuns a lot. They implore me to return to nursing, with promises of a lovely flowered heart chakra t-shirt. ? The dream Mother Superior laughs when she sees my necklace of religious medals, saying, half of those saints have been de-canonized. I tell her they still work for me, and she just smirks.

Fish In Aspic

My Aunt Dorothy just gave me a copper fish mold way cooler and older than the one pictured, but I'm too lazy/brain-dead to even snap a photo, so I stole the one above by searching for "Fish Jello" on eBay, i.e. our Image Bank. A surprising number of results turned up. The box of ancient Celery Jello (one of the Flavors that Flopped, along with tomato, italian salad, mixed vegetables, coffee, cola, apple, and chocolate) is just a bonus. I'm going to make sockeye salmon aspic with the mold one of these days, just to say I did. Canasta will eat it, anyway.

Ladies' Luncheon

Today I had some ladies over to enjoy the first of the fall weather. It was cool enough to build a fire. I served grilled ham and cheese on rye with a green salad and a side dish of chopped apples mixed with raisins, lemon zest, lemon juice, pie spice, maple syrup — then topped with glazed spiced pecans. The raves were numerous. My table looked a lot better than the one above. Canasta loves ham, but I don't think all that salt is good for a little doggie, so she begged to no avail.

Fungus Redux

Almost done with the second sleeve of The Mushroom Sweater. That means the whole thing should be done by next week! Too terribly thrilling!

Be Your Own Hairdresser

I had a dream about pincurls last night, so I decided to skip ahead to Day 5, Week 2 of my 4 Week Beauty and Charm course and learn how to be my own hairdresser. Here's what Anita Colby has to say today: "There are two ways to set pincurls. I prefer the upped way — that is you pull each strand up from the scalp, then wind toward the face. I find that by winding upward, I get more body into whatever style I brush into it later. Hollywood studios do it. Stars like Loretta Young, Joan Crawford, Paulette Goddard, Elizabeth Taylor, Hedy Lamarr swear by this method." Just to be contrary, I'm going to set mine the other way, "as for a page-boy" by pulling each strand down. Any curl at all will be very beautiful and charming in my hay straight scarecrow hair.

Beauty and Charm

Today is the start of my 4 Week Beauty and Charm Course, as outlined by Anita Colby's Beauty Book, published in 1952. Here's her starting pep talk: "There is no reason for you to be an obscure, unremarkable, unjoyous girl. Make yourself a daily schedule, and if you will follow it through the four weeks of this course, get rid of all your bad habits and replace them with good ones for these twenty-eight days, you will look like — act like — feel like — a beauty." The focus for today is on cleaning the face three times and standing up straight. Can do!

Stagecoach

Just saw one of my favorite movies, Stagecoach, for the first time in 10 years. When you don't see something for a really long time it's almost as much fun as seeing it new. That movie has so many fantastic scenes and characters and bits of dialogue. Dallas being run out of town in her striped stockings, The Ringo Kid watching her silhouette sway down a hallway, Doc Boone and the whiskey drummer's sample case, the stagecoach driver's whining about frijoles, etc, etc: in fact, the whole dang film, from the first shot to the last. I wanted to marry John Wayne when I was 11, and seeing this gem again makes me know why!

I Heard The Owl Call My Name....

This the latest Thrift Store Score. Isn't he cute? I'm definitely knitting an Owl Cape after I finish The Mushroom Sweater (which is finally moving full speed ahead again with flat-work sleeves.) I Heard The Owl Call My Name not only at the Salvation Army, where this plaque was purchased, but also two nights ago when I let Canasta out to pee. (It thinks my name is "Hoo-Hoo.")

Zinnias

This year is the first time I've planted zinnias since I was 9. After the killer frost in April, I threw a few packets of their seeds into the herb garden. They took over! And they're still blooming: the flower of the hour. They're so tough, they wither any weeds that even think about sprouting near them. If they weren't so dang pretty, they'd be considered weeds themselves!

Update: Mushrooms

Remember The Mushroom Sweater? I hardly do myself. I finally figured out why I'm ignoring it. The sleeves! I just don't like raglan sleeves. They look good on men in Irish Spring commercials, but not developed women. In my opinion. I initially chose the pattern from Ann Budd's The Knitter's Handy Book of Sweater Patterns so I could work it on circular needles. But I've discovered I don't like making circular sleeves, not for my first sweater. I know I'll fup the increases, my marker's always migrating. So now I'm going to go for saddle sleeves worked flat. This is a lot of messing around for a first sweater endeavor, but life must hold some challenge, after all! Should I have chosen a simple drop sleeve design? They're so boxy looking. No, I think I'll just gird myself for some hair-pulling and continue. I really want to get this done by Halloween!

Junk For Junk's Sake

Most women's decorating magazines and TV shows piss me off. They're always urging us to do violence to our junk. Saw off its feet, tear the binding, snip out the picture, break the spine in two, cut off the finial, rip up the seams, nail it to the wall. Change it into something else! Well, we here at Lucky Find Salvage Company do not believe in turning flaky chair legs into lamps or sewing costume jewelry onto your t-shirts or knitting old sheets into messenger bags. We believe that the main question to ask about junk is not “what do I with it?” but “where can I find more of it?” Here’s what we do with ours: put it someplace dark, and ignore it! You're sure to get sick of that wobbly homemade lamp shedding lead paint dust all over the rug, but opening a box full of hoarded junk you’ve completely forgotten about is like finding the treasure trove all over again: one hundred percent fun. And not only fun: an aperture to the past. Take the menu above, for instance. Don't you just know it's going to offer a 5¢ cup of coffee to go along with the grilled cheese and chili? Can't you hear the trolley clang by, see the chrome stools and white waitress uniforms, smell the bacon and cigarettes, taste the fudge sauce? Why would you want to destroy the portal by carving out the reindeer with your hideous Exacto blade? What, are you going to paste it into that crappy scrapbook full of ugly baby pictures? Please reconsider.

Lucky Find Gazette: A Dozen

Looking back at Twelve Issues of Lucky Find Gazette is like looking into a box filled with all different kinds of donuts. Lots of pretty colors and sprinkles and not a shred of nutrition! But it is all about junk, after all.

A Pounds Thinner Pattern

I have just discovered a pain-free method of weight loss that even works on mature females who sit around knitting and blogging all day. Please send $1,000 dollars to my PayPal account and I will tell you! You don't have that kind of spare change? Okay, here it is for free: consume zero calories all day, and have one healthy meal at night. Shock, horror, eating disorder? Is that your reaction? Well, really ponder the evolution of human beings. Do you think they had time for six meals a day? No way! They were too busy chasing down Mastodons for the evening feast! There were no Clif Bars or Hot Pockets in prehistory! And those Cro-Magnon hunter-gatherers were strong and healthy, ask any anthropologist. When I eat (the currently recommended) six meals, even low carb ones, I get so hungry and tired I end up either eating 100 times a day or oozing into a nice day-long nap. Check out The Warrior Diet by Ori Hofmeklar. His overeating precept doesn't work for short little old me, but everything else sure does! Something amazing happens after the third day of this plan: you feel great. Your various tracts are all resting, so the brain is amped up. Why wouldn't it be? It doesn't have to filter all the millions of post-prandial chemical reactions. You're looking forward to dinner, sure, but you feel calm knowing you won't have to count every calorie bean when you do eat. I avoid caffeine after my two or three morning cups, so my blood sugar won't crash. I want to be a wiry 90 year-old yogini someday, and I think I've found a good way to get there. (I'm not ready to throw a yard sale to free my karma of material possessions yet, but I probably will be a few decades from now.)